Insecure. Or, Insecurities.

They KINDA have the same meaning. Lack of confidence, more on to this side. Many people have this in their life. Most of them, girls. I'm not saying boys don't have them! Girls tend to feel insecure more than guys do. Why am I saying this? Well, obviously because I'm one of them.

Yes, I AM INSECURE. I'm not sure why. Is it because of the way I look at other girls? Or is it because I hate the way  I look to others? Okay, never mind. I'm starting to talk nonsense right now.

The reason why I post this was because I wanted to share what I think about myself having these insecurities. Not only me, but many of my friends have them.

Number one.

"I'm fat" "I'm ugly" "I need to lose weight" Well, I say these quite often. Whyyy you might ask. First, because I'm starting to put on weight, and it really disturbs me mentally and physically. Girls hate putting on weight. And! Girls love to be pretty. Yes, they do. I do too! Of course, I'm a girl.

Number two.

It is because how people treat us. I mean the society clearly showed us that people would chase over a beautiful, tall, skinny, pretty girl rather than a simple, normal, plain, dull girl. It is quite obvious. For example Kendall Jenner or Miranda Kerr. Look at them, perfect face, perfect hair, perfect body. WHO WOULDN'T WANT THEM. When these kind of girls exist. The others started falling apart. Including me.

Number three. 

I can't think of any other way to explain this to you  (readers) because. This feeling could only be understood when you have it yourself. When you start saying to yourself; am I ugly? am I fat? am I not good enough? These will lead you to a very big mess. Where you would start having envious thoughts to other girls (or boys) and your relationship with them would slowly fade away. You'd avoid contacting them because, well you thought you're not good enough!

Honestly, I respect those who doesn't have any insecurities. They're strong. Waaaay stronger than I am. I wish I was like them, but I couldn't. Society hit me hard looooong time ago, when I was a laughing stock. I hated that time, it made me who I am now. An insecure girl.

I tried and tried, and tried. But it didn't work. Now I'm stuck with these insecurities forever.
That's all actually. Good bye, thank you for reading. I appreciate it. Really.


P/s I'm not writing this because I want attention. I'm writing this because I wanted to express my feelings, finally I could make other people to listen to me. If you think I'm an attention seeker, then I might need to show you the exit.